The Secret Origin of the Marvel Universe Is So Gross, The MCU Won't Ever Touch It

As the Marvel Universe continues to expand across hundreds of galaxies, alien empires, conquerors, and menaces, one thing becomes clear: humans sure were lucky to be so randomly blessed with an endless supply of mutants, superhumans, magical sorcers, and cosmic champions to protect them.

Of course, there really is a specific reason why Earth is home to thousands of heroes, where other planets have none. But this Marvel secret is so disgusting, you may wish you have never learned the truth.

Marvel's Earth Was Born Out of Celestial Vomit & Death

The Horrifying Truth Was Revealed in Avengers #5 (2018)

There's no way to sugarcoat the cosmic origin story of the planet Earth in the Marvel Universe, so once he learned it for himself, the Asgardian Loki didn't bother to try. In a story titled "The Secret Origin of the Marvel Universe" by Jason Aaron, Paco Medina, and Ed McGuinness, the brutal truth of Earth's biology was finally explained to Captain America (and the readers). Permanently erasing any belief that the planet had evolved life naturally over millions, or billions of years.

As bad news for a good God-fearing hero like Steve Rogers, it was also not populated or guided by any intelligent designer, or shaped from a ball of lava to a paradise, teeming with life. As Loki reveals, life as it exists on Earth is "the result of a diseased Celestial vomiting its liquefied space innards into our planet's primordial shores." And he continues:

"Turns out even an omnipotent space god gets sick now and again. And this one had just come down with quite the nasty infection... The first of its kind to ever become diseased. Patient Zero. It fell through space for many years before it landed. Landed in the muck of Earth. Where it vomited and bled and wept radioactive tears. And then slumped over and died. That sickness seeped into the Earth, percolating through the shifting seas of primordial rock and lava. Along with the blood and rotting flesh of a nigh omnipotent Alpha Celestial.

"The infection stewed. For millions of years. The entire planet became diseased. forever altering the Earth's evolutionary trajector. Tell me, why has this one particular, otherwise unremarkable world always been such a hotbed for super-powered madness?... Not because of any grand purpose, I can assure you. But because of that bubbling, black puddle of Celestial regurgitation. And the monstrous thing that would come slithering out of it. Any guesses as to what those monsters were? Hmmm? They were you! Yes, you, Captain America. You and all your mutated, gamma-irradiated, web-slinging ilk."

So there you have it: the unvarnished, and absolutely stomach-turning truth behind the biggest secret of Earth in the universe. A lifeless rock destined to likely stay that way, until an infected Celestial (the god-like, cosmic residents and shapers of the universe) lost all bodily control and went face-first into the primordial soup.

The Origin Is Solid Sci-Fi, But Simply Too Disturbing To Show On Film

Nobody Wants To See The Seeds of Marvel's Universe Planted With Liquefied Guts

Thankfully, the artwork of the issue gives the dying Celestial more grandiose treatment than Loki, depicting the cosmic leviathan collapsing in its final moments of life. Oozing, yes, but looking 'awesome' at the same time. Not to mention forever changing how MCU fans will look upon Tiamut, the half-revealed Celestial uncovered in Eternals. (The dead Celestial mentioned in Loki's story is unnamed, referred to as simply 'Progenitor' for its role as the source of superhuman life on Earth.)

While the Celestials were introduced into the MCU already, the fact that they did so in the poorly-received Eternals, and present several plot problems if acknowledged too regularly, the odds of seeing this origin story play out on film are next to nil. Perhaps general audiences are better for it, but either way, fans can look to Marvel Comics for inspiration. Yes, the reveal is horrifying enough to rattle the movie Avengers. But in the comics, they simply turned the Celestial corpse into the new Avengers base.